Saturday, July 18, 2009

Haitus

Hey guys I'm back again. So after taking a much needed hiatus I finally got some things figured out. For a while I was feeling really confused about my eating disorder and kept going back and forth about whether I still had one or not. Some days I knew I still had my eating disorder, and other days I felt like I didn't. It was very confusing and really messed with my head for a while. I think part of it was due to reading blogs and reading about how people talk about their eating disorders. I think that because I started thinking about my eating disorder as a separate being (i.e. ED says), it just confused me and made feel like I was still trying to have one. I've never thought about my eating disorder as a separate being before. I've always just kind of meshed it with my own behaviors and considered it apart of me. So when I started thinking differently I just got confused. I mean really, c'mon, if you know that someone is telling you lies and is controlling you, wouldn't it make sense to just RUN AWAY as fast as you can, instead of obeying them? So, that's why I was feeling so confused.
Anyways. A BUNCH of stuff has been going on lately. Here's a little recap.

  • Finally found a good therapist. I've been seeing this gal for about 2 months now and I really like her. She is easy to talk to, friendly, and totally understands where I'm coming from. Best of all, I really like how I can tell her anything (no matter how weird or abnormal it seems) and she won't freak out. In fact, a lot of the stuff that I've told her she says she's heard it all before. So great. I really like her.
  • My brother shipped out for bootcamp in the Navy. It was really sad seeing him go and knowing that he is not going to be back home for....well...pretty much forever. My brother and I were always really close and are only 18 months apart. He's a really great guy and has been like a best friend to me. I can pretty much talk to him about anything. I really miss him. And he's gotten pretty handsome too, so ladies....if you're lookin...;).
  • I am a highway-driving babe!! Oh yea, all of these therapist appointments have really pushed me to start driving longer distances more often and overcome my fear of the dreaded 3 lane road...dundundun!!!! Before I was so terrified of the highway but now I LOVE IT!! I love the freedom of the open road, the wind in my hair, the thrilling high speeds, and just the ability to navigate my way, get there, and get back home. So fun!
  • Changed career paths. This was actually kind of sudden. For a while I thought that I wanted to be a psychologist, but after taking a PSYCH 102 class this summer I realized that psychology--not the way to go. If you don't already know, I want to work with girls who have eating disorders and help them overcome their fears and learn to accept and love themselves. Psychology is mostly about research and conducting experiments and figuring out how our brain works. BLEGH!!! Well, I don't want to diagnose the problem, I want to help fix it!! So, I talked to my therapist about it and she told me that I should instead major in social work. So now that's gonna be my major!! I'm so glad I another piece of my career life figured out!!! Woohoo!!! Plus I won't have to be in school for another 7 years!! Bonus!!!

Well, that's about all I have to say for now. I'll just leave you with some pics of things that I drooled over whilst shopping. I so wish I could afford this stuff. I need more money...eh...





I NEEEEEEEEED it. Tar-jay you are my love...

Have a good night girls!!

4 comments:

Jenny July 18, 2009 at 6:12 PM  

welcome back girl! It sounds like you have gone through a lot of transitions in your lives and come away with a brighter and positive attitude :)

abby July 18, 2009 at 10:21 PM  

welcome back dear...missed reading ur blog ;)

Mike July 28, 2009 at 4:41 AM  

I just discovered this site and I can relate to what you are going through. Thanks for sharing your story!

erinsloves July 16, 2010 at 7:58 AM  

hey girl love your blog, one day I will feel like I am recovered and completely over my ED, and then the next day will be thinking Im crazy!! It messes with your head. So glad you found a therapist you like though, and I can totally understand how your feeling about your bro leaving (read my classics page)..keep it up tho girlie!