Ello ladies. I appologize for the absence. I told you in the beginning that continuing one of these things was very hard for me. I think its because I'm afraid of judgement and I get intimidated by all of this writing. I'm a good writer but I often write too much. Waaaay too much. Also, I often feel nervous when I socialize in general, not just because of ED. I've dealt with this since I was a little girl. I would get nervous calling people on the phone or hanging out at a friends house. Sometimes I would just avoid it altogether. But thankfully now that I'm older I realize that this has made me very lonely and I love going out for a good night on the town. So if you see me being absent for a long while, knock me upside the head because I've probably scared myself off. But I need this blogging community and I need to keep socializing. It's good for me.
Anyways this week was pretty eventful.
On Sunday I made the huge decision to get baptised. This was such a life-changing moment, one that I'll never forget. It was very "of God." You see, back in November or December I was planning on getting baptised but nothing quite worked out. My dad wasn't able to come, half of my family was missing, and to be completely honest, my heart just wasn't ready. I felt more obligated to get baptised than anything. In no way was I ready to give my whole life over to God. But on Sunday, I was ready. I wanted to trust God with my life, I wanted to give my all over to Him, and I wanted to surrender my eating disorder over to Him. I can't even tell you how many affirmations He has given me lately, that have utterly confirmed that my decision was the right one. Amazing. And so, on Sunday, I barried my sins. Let all the believers rejoice!!
After Sunday my week got pretty crazy. Lately my mind has been kind of freaking out on me. Half of the time I feel very forgetful and experience weird episodes where it's almost like I have premature Alzheimers. It's very...unsettling....and I was just wondering if anybody else has experienced stuff like this. My nutritionist said that irrational thinking is pretty common until my body starts remending itself and gets up to a healthy weight. I also might be tired but I am still kind of worried. Would GREATLY appreciate some prayer from my fellow believers.
Isn't this is a good thing?
Why should I be worried that my ED is silent?
I should be rejoicing!!
I should be relishing the times where I have ED-free days and embracing my life on that day!!
I should be whooping it up!! Dancing and singing and laughing until my sides hurt!!
This is where I need to start accepting that recovery is a good thing.