French Toast Flop

Recently I have been trying to reconform my eating habits to adopt a more vegetarian lifestyle. Usually I subsist off of egg whites, some chicken, and fish for protein, but I have been really wanting to cut out the egg whites. So, the other day I decided to try my hand at baking the perfect, healthy dish for lunch: Vegan French Toast. After laborously pouring over the internet, searching for variations on this delicious meal, I finally hashed together my own recipe based on what I had read.

Downstairs in the kitchen I was elated, and quickly set to work compiling the ingredients and cooking utensils that I would need. Using extreme care, I measured out each ingredient to the letter, and poured them inside my totally cute mini food processor. My recipe included something along the lines of 1/2 c vanilla soymilk, 2 tsp pumpkin puree(one of my addictions), 1/4 tsp cinnamon, and 3 oz of tofu. With a few short pulses the ingredients were quickly blended down into a thicky, creamy paste and I nervously dipped my first piece of bread into the batter and threw it on the hot frying pan. The result: a complete disaster.

I don't know about others' experiences in making French Toast, sans eggs, but the second that the batter-coated bread hit the pan it did the unthinkable.

It bounced.
I am not even kidding.

As if the thing were possessed by jumping beans, that one slice of bread danced around the pan, spitting and sputtering angrily, sending droplets of hot batter flying. No matter what I did, it refused to settle down even when I yanked the dial on the stovetop to reduce the heat. Considering that I was on a strict time limit, I was horrified and did everything imaginable to try and salvage my lunch. Only minutes later I relunctantly accepted the fact that my lunch was inevitably doomed, and would have to retire down the garbage disposal.
In a panic, I remade the recipe, this time nixing the tofu, and tried again. Although this time the bread didn't exactly bounce around like it had before, the batter never fully cooked through and left me with an extremely unappetizing soggy mess.

That would be the second funeral today.

At this point I was starving, the clock was furiously ticking away the minutes, and I was mostly out of ingredients. With an angry cry I threw up my hands in defeat and whipped together the batter using the one ingredient I had been desperately trying to avoid: egg whites. I am so ashamed. Ironically, this final attempt yielded 2 perfectly crisp, cooked pieces of French Toast.

Yet, I was unsatisfied because of my failure.
Where oh where did I go wrong?